The Boy Scouts of America are no more. The world’s most prominent man-building organization is now a people-building organization.
For more than a century, the Boy Scouts were the foundational plank in a vast man-building infrastructure in America. This thicket of male-only clubs, organizations, lodges, and institutions produced some of the finest men the world has ever known. That infrastructure included:
- Boy scouts, and similar organizations
- YMCAs
- All-male schools and academies
- High school boys’ clubs and sports teams
- Men’s service organizations, social clubs, athletic clubs, glee clubs and lodges
- The military
Every time these men and boys gathered, they were reminded to serve others – and serve they did. Eagle Scouts have built hundreds of thousands of public amenities around the world. Men’s service clubs built hospitals for children (Shriners), solved the world’s iodine deficiency problem (Kiwanis), and sent generations of youth on international exchange (Rotary). And what U.S. city doesn’t have a Lions Park?
But even more important than their good works, men’s clubs produced good men – solid citizens who were leaders in their communities. We called them “the greatest generation.” They built the most prosperous economy in history and presided over an era of unprecedented peace. The positive peer pressure in these organizations prodded men away from selfishness and toward greatness.
Smashing the “old boys network”
About 50 years ago, many men’s organizations began to admit female members, in the name of gender equality. Adding women to formerly male-only organizations was widely seen as a leap forward. Progress. Striking a blow for equality and inclusion.
But then came the unintended consequences. As women joined these organizations, men began to withdraw. And their role as an incubator of male character quickly diminished.
This wasn’t the intent of the egalitarians. They envisioned a future where men and women worked shoulder to shoulder to advance the mission. Nothing would change except the gender makeup of the membership.
But that’s not how it works. Once a male-focused organization begins admitting women it’s not long before women (and their sensibilities) become the driving force within that organization. And like a balloon that slowly loses air, the organizations slowly lose their men. As more women lead, men step back and let them.
This is the same dynamic that feminized the mainline churches. As these congregations opened their doors to female elders and pastors, men began to withdraw, leaving “religion to the women.” Many of these churches have become “grandma-cracies” — governed by a board of golden-hearted grandmothers.
Look at these photos from the United Methodist Church’s 2024 General Conference. They are filled with images of women – particularly older women. I glanced through several hundred photos from the conference, and the only young men I saw were wrapped in rainbow attire. Mainline churches now reflect women’s priorities: social justice, nurturing of various victim groups and apologizing for the sins of our ancestors.
Who’s paying the price? Everyone, especially women
In the past fifty years, Western society went from actively promoting male responsibility to passively undermining it. In the absence of molding, the character of young men is eroding. Men are falling behind women by almost every measure – education, career attainment, and family formation. Our current generation of young men is more isolated, adrift, addicted and frustrated than any in the past century. And the organizations that helped their fathers and grandfathers get back on track no longer exist.
Meanwhile, women can’t find decent husbands. Their sons lack healthy male role models. Their neighborhoods are deteriorating, and social disorder is rising. Apart from the presence of strong adult men, boys create chaos.
These women ask, “Where did all the good men go?” Simple — we dismantled the structures that produced them. Feminists called these structures “the old boys network.” They gleefully destroyed them in the 1970s and 80s, unaware that they were consigning their sisters to loneliness, their sons to listlessness, and their society to lawlessness.
What’s the answer?
I am not advocating a return to the bad old days where women had little or no voice in society. But the pendulum has swung too far. There are plenty of women-only organizations, but the men-only organization has virtually disappeared. We need an all-out effort restore the man-building infrastructure that’s been torn down in our generation. It’s a huge challenge.
Where do we start? With the boys. Christian alternatives to Scouting USA such as Christian Service Brigade and Trail Life USA are helping young men develop character without bowing to the cultural norms that eventually destroy men (and women).
What role could the church play in restoring our man-building infrastructure? We have the values men need – but we’re short on men. The average congregation in North America draws an adult crowd that’s just 39% male.
Men’s ministry can help. Men can volunteer as Sunday school teachers and volunteer youth leaders. A few churches offer male initiation ceremonies for their young men.
I’m working on a new church planting model that’s specifically designed to build character in men. I’m calling it The League. Learn more by clicking here.
David Murrow, The Online Preaching Coach, is the author of Why Men Hate Going to Church and many other bestselling books. David is an award winning television producer whose work has been seen on ABC, NBC, PBS, CBS, Discovery Networks, BBC World Service and dozens more. He trains pastors how to make their sermons more watchable, memorable and shareable online.
Always right on
I was a member of the Assemblies of God for over 40 years. I left that denomination this past March because the organization no longer wants real men in their churches. There is no men’s ministry to speak of and what does pass for men’s ministry is really nothing more than a glorified Bible study where the men are encouraged to be more like the women. Royal Rangers, a “boys only ” ministry has opened its doors for the girls.
I have been on a journey of discovering my purpose and felt a strong drawing towards men and the issues men face. I was simultaneously immediately aware of the deterioration in the organisations that build men. As a former Boy Scout in South Africa, I definitely relate to and can attest to the power of such organisations to build strong men; men of character and integrity. Churches here in South Africa are also moving towards the feminist, like most organisations are advocating. The Church has definitely moved away from attracting and building men because of societal pressures. I just happened across a Facebook post where Church For Men was mentioned and I am not sorry that I followed up by visiting the website, purchasing the kindle book and signing up for your newsletter. Although this all happened today, September 16, 2024, I already feel enegrised and empowered to get working to restore the MANdate.
Very interested in hearing / speaking with you about your new church planting model. (I taught church planting at seminary for 12 years.) I also planted a church that planted 7 churches in its first 9 years. Keep faithful.
First and foremost as men we must become men of God, we must learn to become the husband that God has created us for then bring up our children as Godly fathers that are teaching our children Gods word. We must build the reputation of a Godly man and not just of a good man. We must allow God to bring our Paul out so our family, friends, colleagues can all see what God is doing. I know as men we enjoy projects but we must also sit with brothers and dive deeper in the word with each other, let’s be honest this is easier for women but no where does He command women only to gain wisdom from his word but as men that’s our first responsibility. Let’s quit making excuses and let’s allow God to HUMBLE us and truly become the man of God that glorifies Him. Last 2 things in genesis when God is looking for Adam and asked him what did Adam do, the woman in which you gave did it. Men it’s not just this generation, but God has given us men such as Job, Peter, Paul, and others but most importantly gave us Jesus there’s the model for us. We need not worry about planting we just need to get fixing our selves and then our churches and country will follow.
The challenge lies at the pulpit. Printing a business card with the title “Pastor” doesn’t qualify anyone to lead a flock. Nor does a statement like ” I’ve been preaching for 20 years, sway me. Often it becomes preaching for 18 years what they learned the first 2 years. Finding a spiritually mature Pastor and flock is like a scavenger hunt. Perfect isn’t realistic or the target.
I’m a woman and a recent Catholic convert (from Buddhist). Initially, I chafed at the male-only clergy. Now I understand why God designated roles for men and women in the church.
The “Grandma-cracy” is too real, but so is the “Aunt-cracy” comprised of Gen X women with liberal views. At a recent catholic women’s meetup, some women openly disagreed with the church’s position on abortion in case of incest and rape.
Another downside of women-driven churches is female aggression. It’s one reason why women in aggregate prefer male bosses. It’s also why I don’t volunteer at my church. Too many Queen Bees.
Where are the single Catholic men? Not at my “Grandma-cracy” church. They’re attending the Traditional Latin Mass where women aren’t permitted near.
Another I noticed: sermons at my “Grandma-cracy” avoid discussing sensitive sins, sticking to palatable topics. Meanwhile, TLM will absolutely go there. I recall a sermon ending with the priest saying, “This is God’s world. We do what he commands.” That would come off as “too harsh” at my regular parish.